Ashes

Ashes




He grabs my hand; a slight notion of our affection. Our two little boys, running about the forest, dodging trees, and hiding in berry bushes. They laugh at their own games. I lift my head and inhale deeply, the cool fresh our. The breeze just ever so slightly rocking the oak sprigs back and forth.
“It’s so calm out here,” he says as he looks at me with a weak smile.
I nod lightly, and he squeezes my hand.
The sun decreases slowly into the sky. Purples and pinks are etched throughout it, and the stars are finally starting to poke out.
“There it is!” my youngest yells.
The boys start running toward the small cottage that my husband built for us during the summer.
“It’s been ages since we’ve been down here, hasn’t it, darling?” I ask, turning my head to look at him.
“So it has,” he replies, letting go of my hand, only to put his arm around my waist.
Pulling me ever closer, he kisses my cheek. We walk side by side, holding onto each other as tightly as we can. We stroll up to the cottage, not wanting to let go of this moment. I gasp suddenly, and I stop to catch my breath. I close my eyes tightly, trying to shake it off.
“Wake up. Wake up”.
I jerk my eyes open. A dark room lay before me. I’m in my warm bed. I look down next to me, and caress the spot where my husband used to lay. I look down at it for a moment, wrapped in the intenseness of my dream.
“It was just a dream…but it seemed so real,” I say to myself. I get out of bed, slipping into my house shoes, and slinking into my robe, and walk out into the hallway. I stand in front of my children’s room, and move the door aside gently, to avoid the creaking, so I won’t wake them. They are both still in their bed, dreaming away. I walk in and sit on their bed. I kiss each of them on the forehead, and walk out of the room, closing the door on the way. I go into the living room, and stare out the window. I see our cottage, not even a mile in our woods. A tear falls down into the curve of my mouth, and I wipe it away with my sleeve.
“So many years ago, but it seems like it happened yesterday”.
I can see the images in my head, still burning away. Our cottage, newly built, by his hands. It took five years for him to build. It was so beautiful. A still burning log, fallen from its place was all it took to bring it down. And he had seen the smoke from the living room window, and hurried to it…hoping he could put the fire out in time, but instead of saving the cottage…he ended up burning along with it. Nothing left behind except for the ashes.
I’m suddenly struck by a bad cough, and I can’t seem to stop. I go into the kitchen, and grab a glass of water. I drink it down, and the coughing subsides. I set the glass on the counter, and got over to the living room window again. I see smoke, rising from the cottage. I gasp.
“Darling,” I utter under my breath.
I grab the keys off the shelf, and run out the door.
The trail is dark, and I can barely see the ground below my feet. The only light I have is the crescent moon, hanging high in the sky. My breath is shallow, and harsh. I stop quite often to cough, and sobs echo out of my mouth as I say my lover’s name over and over.
The cottage comes into view, as I run down the path. The door is only a few feet away. I run past the cobble stone steps, and the dead rose bushes. Past the rocking chair, and then it lies right in front of me; the old oak door, that still smells of paint.
I grab the door handle, and close my eyes tightly, afraid of what I’ll find inside. My breath shortens, and my body becomes numb. I take one deep breath, and turn the knob and push. I open my eyes, and through all the tears, smile.
My husband sits comfortably in his favorite chair next to the fire place, with a glass of wine in his hand. He sets the glass down, and walks over to me, eyes locked on mine. His hand reaches out to touch my face. It’s warm. He feels so warm as he wipes the tears falling down my cheeks away.
“I was wondering when you were going to come,” he says.
I take a hold of his face and bring it down to mine. After we both pull away from our kiss, he smiles and takes my hand, leading me to the couch. As he holds me my crumpled heart becomes whole, and everything starts to come into perspective. I’m his till death do us part, but once death takes over you does your love dissipate? I ask him this once I regain consciousness, for the fragrance of his being put me in a state of ecstasy, and this is his reply:
“Our love is everlasting. Nothing can come between us, my dear, not even death.”
I smile as he kisses my head, and fall asleep against his chest, letting my dreams take over.

In my bed, I lay. Not moving, nor breathing. In this night, I have given my husband every thing I have to give. Because the last thing I ever had to give was my life.